Friend,

There is a specific set of NICU parents who have endured the pain of losing one or more children in a multiple-birth pregnancy. These families are faced with a unique situation: grieving the loss of one or more children while returning to the NICU day after day to support the surviving siblings. Today we're sharing their stories. We're also sharing a touching new way for NICUs to acknowledge the loss of a multiple in their unit, plus podcast episodes created just for bereaved parents.

NICU Parent Perspective: Acknowledging the Loss of a Multiple in the NICU

NICU and bereaved mom Daree shared her experience with us, in the hopes that it will someday help someone else going through a similar experience. 

"Emma spent 100 days in the same room that she and Oliver shared in the NICU. It was bittersweet to have to walk into that same room each day. Her roommates were almost always sets of twins. It was rough watching the parents hold their twins together for the first time, feeding them, watching them go home before us because they were born so much later than my Emma was. 

"When they moved her out of that room, I was devastated. It was the last place they were together; I didn't want her moved. But in a way, it made it easier to visit her.

"I get the most comfort from sharing our story and finding others who have suffered a similar loss. It helps me to give them support and being almost nine years out from my loss, to give hope that they can survive this.

"Oliver is still very much a part of our family. After three long years of praying, we decided to have another baby. Josiah was born at 28 weeks. He spent 60 days in the NICU. It was almost worse being back there, because I knew too much. It was also like coming home."

If you have experienced a loss due to prematurity or other complications, you are not alone. Request support from a trained, volunteer peer mentor who has been through a similar experience.

The Butterfly Project Decals and Cards: a Token of Remembrance in Your NICU

We are proud to introduce The Butterfly Project, a new way to support families who have experienced the loss of a twin, triplet, or higher order multiple. 

This simple purple butterfly serves as a token of remembrance for families who have lost a baby in a multiple-birth pregnancy. And when placed on the crib or isolette of a surviving sibling, it also serves as an important reminder to staff and other parents that this family’s story includes a sibling who is no longer with us, relieving the family of the burden of having to explain their situation. 

The Butterfly Project is made possible in part by a grant from One Wing Foundation.

NEW Virtual Support Group for Bereaved Parents

Beginning November 5, join us each Thursday for a virtual support group specifically for parents who have experienced a loss, led by Hand to Hold Family Support Specialist and bereaved parent Christine Tester.

View all virtual support groups here.

NICU Now Podcast: Tell the Story of Your Grief

Therapist and bereaved parent Kara Wahlin knows all too well the pain of losing a child. Here she shares with us her experiences and advice for living with love and loss.

NICU Love and Loss: a Podcast for Bereaved Parents

No one understands what it is like to suffer the loss of a baby like a parent who has been there. In the NICU Love and Loss Podcast, bereaved parents share their stories and discuss the many stages of grief, letting other parents know they are not alone.

What Parents Are Saying

"I always felt understood, supported and like I wasn't alone in this world. It means a lot to have the support of someone who's been through a very similar situation."

Lihue W., Santa Monica, CA

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